Coaching Tool Tips
Changing hopeless to hopeful - how to stop negative unhelpful thoughts
Did you realise most people have negative thoughts that randomly seem to come from nowhere? What you do with these thoughts is crucial. Martin Luther compared them to birds and said we’re not responsible if they fly into a tree (our brain), but we’re responsible for making them a nest! Keep them out of your "brain tree" by doing the following:
1. Be critical. Ask yourself if they’re true – especially if they label you negatively “I’m so lazy, why did I do that so badly? She’s so nasty to me. He doesn't like me.”
2. Give yourself an act of kindness. Something like touching your heart and smiling on purpose about the last kind thing you did for someone.
3. Immediately do something else so you don’t dwell on the thought and make that nest for it.
Build up your confidence
Confidence is a huge indicator of success, and if you’ve ever said “I wish I had more confidence.” Then here’s how you can. And it’s seriously fun when you get the hang of it.
Before you go to sleep ask yourself this question. “What did I do well today?” If you can’t think of anything then try this question “What did I do that was OK today?” Then don’t give up until you have at least one. No, don’t even think about doing anything else until you’ve found something.
Your brain will be in a fog because it’s not used to thinking like this if it’s a new skill. Remember learning to read, drive a car or kick a soccer ball? Your skill improves when you practice. Keep at it.
Forget about it being “I discovered radiation" or "How I turned plastic into protein.” Make it really simple. Try the following types of successes: “I got up 10 minutes early and had time to make breakfast, I used the stairs not the lift, I smiled at that homeless woman, I kept my temper when I wanted to be sarcastic to that slow checkout operator, I didn’t yell at my brother even when he was being stupid.”
Then build up from one thing to at least three. Then go from what you did that was OK to what you did well - and then go to “What’s three things I did fabulously today?” I’ve known this to change someone’s life as they grew in confidence. It’s so worth trying. Enjoy!