Are you aware of what’s draining your mental energy?
When you find it hard to think straight, can’t find the joy in your day and wake up feeling dread instead of delight, you could be doing too many things that drain instead of develop you. This can feel overwhelming and frustrating, especially if now your focus is on what you can’t do instead of enjoying your life.
These are some of the things people are commonly doing that drain their limited mental energy, that can be changed. For example:
Poor sleep – staying up late, getting up too early, broken sleep, waking up tired.
Decision fatigue – having to make many decisions in short time frames, carrying the weight of complex decisions, doing most of the decisions for a group of dependant people.
Emotional strain – being in constant conflict, people pleasing, resentment, grieving, caretaking, trauma causing circumstances.
Information overload – taking in many sources and a variety of information quickly without fully processing it.
Too much multitasking – switching from task to task in a short time frames.
Constant stress – staying ‘on’ too long in any of the above, without rest.
Do any of these sound familiar? I wonder, if you rated these from really bad to non-existent, which two would be highest on your list.
For many people, especially at certain times of life, these energy draining activities seem like just normal living. All of them together may be familiar, but our bodies, spirits and minds weren’t designed to be like this as much as we think life demands it. The reason it matters is because this type of response builds up in your physiology and can result in illness and burnout. It can have serious consequences for you and those you love.
That which you tolerate and don’t question is what often can be cause a huge crash. The end of a relationship, disease, job failure, even turning into a ‘Karen’.
It can start with an antsy feeling, a thought that goes ‘something’s not right’, but you don’t know what it is. In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steve Covey tells a story in his last chapter. This person is in a forest, cutting down a tree. They talk to their passing neighbour and comment that their saw is blunt and they’re frustrated about how long things are taking. The neighbour suggests they stop and get it sharpened, but they’re too busy to stop to sharpen it. Does this sound familiar?
We are built to stop and relax. We need it. And relaxing is not spending an hour or three on social media, - refer to number four on the list - or watching a movie while answering emails - refer to number 5 -or even writing a report finishing at 2 in the morning -that’s number 1 & 6.
We do a lot in the name of efficiency when the opposite is what we often need.
How we pause and honour who we are and what matters to us is deadly important. The first question is, do we know what really matters to us that’s above and beyond our current circumstances? And, if you don’t know what that is, please give it some attention. (Either make an appointment with me or talk about it with a trusted person who has known you for a while.)
Here’s some ways to start dealing to those things that drain your mental energy as a start to this process.
Sleep. If you’re in the habit of going to bed too late, set an alarm for 9 or 9:30 and give yourself a reward for getting there. New pyjamas, flowers, beautiful soap, for example. And no social media 90 minutes before bed. Read a hard copy book instead. Your brain will resist for a while – give it three weeks – and reward yourself with something like a massage when you get there.
Decision fatigue. Often, if you’re managing a house then you’re making a lot of the decisions. Spread the load. Get others to prepare the meals including deciding what to cook, getting ingredients and cleaning up. At work, take more breaks. Get up from your desk every 20 minutes, and make sure you’re not in decision making meetings for a whole day. The principle is to take breaks. And delegate what you can. The quality of your decisions will improve over time.
Emotional strain. Constant conflict with family, friends or partner? Set boundaries. Say something like “I’m taking a break from this conflict. Let’s see each other every so often in a café/see a counsellor.” Grieving, people pleasing, resentment, etc, can all be attended to by a specialist counsellor or coach. In a compromised trauma situation, considering a permanent move might be one solution.
&5.Information overload and too much multitasking. This taxes your brain far too much. Some research has shown the dopamine seeking use that social media produces, has shortened our attention span and decreased intelligence. What dopamine wants, in some form, is more dopamine. If you find yourself on social media for more than 2 hours a day, be warned. It’s not useful for you long term. But we need alternatives to distract our brain and replace social media time. Call a friend instead, go for a walk, make something, cuddle a child/friend/pet or partner, go outside and be in the garden, learn something new or go to the gym, for example.
Prolonged stress. Take a break. Really. If a few days off isn’t possible, sit outside for 15 minutes as an assessment. Can you sit for 15 minutes without wanting to Do anything and just Be? Watch a blade of grass bend in the wind, smell the coffee you might be drinking, feel the breath go into your lungs, hear the birds or traffic, but just be. If you can’t sit still, then you probably need a longer break, and a chance to get curious about your “How did I ended up so stressed?” answers. Get your besties together and have a night out or go away to visit your old aunt in the country.
All this is not medical advice, but rather suggestions from watching various clients develop strategies that have changed their lives. A few tweaks can make a big difference.
Would love to know how you deal with these things.
